Infertility Is Not A Punishment-Hope For The Hurting

Infertility Is Not A Punishment

Infertility is not a punishment. But it sometimes feels like it. Did you need to hear that again? It's not a punishment!

We hear it all the time, “children are a blessing” and a “reward from God”. And I believe that with all my heart. But does that mean that if I am not able to have biological children, or am not able to adopt or foster, that I am not good enough?

No, that's not it at all.

God's Word tells us that we are all precious in His sight. He loves you and me as much as the next person, and more deeply than we will ever understand:

..who shows no partiality to princes, nor regards the rich more than the poor, for they are all the work of his hands? Job 34:19 

 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15

If you are facing the ache of infertility, it can feel like the world is passing you by, and that perhaps God has forgotten you, or overlooked you. But that's not the truth, dear one. God has not forgotten you. He sees you at every moment of your life:

For only a penny you can buy two sparrows, yet not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father's consent. As for you, even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Matthew 10:29-30 

 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8

 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Isaiah 49:15-16a

 When we long for a child and our plans do not happen in the time frame we wished or in the way we hoped, then we can become discouraged. The loss is the loss of a dream, and of what we thought our lives would look like. Our very identity is changed.

But God's plans for you are good and for your best. Faith is what we need to trust God's plan and it is not second best. Accepting God's way does not mean we will always be unhappy or that we must trade our dream for one that is less than. God's purpose and Sovereignty in our lives is always for our good:

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.Proverbs 16:9 

 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

The Lord understands our disappointments, our sorrows, and our longings. But what can we do to help ease the sadness, and face the day? We can follow God's gentle leading. He tells us:

 So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.I Peter 4:19

This is how we carry on towards better days. We believe in our hearts that God is good, that He sees us, and that He loves us as if we were the only person on earth. Lay your heart in His hands, commit to Him, and do good.

Do good, friend. Even if it means personal sacrifice on your part. Serve those who God has put in your life, be a light on the path you are taking in a dark world, reach out to people in need, and love unconditionally. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, and trust God to either change your situation, or change you. But don't allow the enemy to attack your position in Christ as dearly beloved. Remain faithful and allow God to heal your heart in His timing. You are loved!

YOUR TURN! Have you struggled with infertility? How has God drawn you closer to Him through your trial? 

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Amber Lia

A former high school English teacher, Amber is a work-at-home mom of 4 little boys under the age of 10. She is the best-selling author of Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, say Something New. She and her husband Guy own Storehouse Media Group, a faith-friendly and family-friendly TV and Film production company in Los Angeles, CA. When she’s not building sand castles with her boys on the beach, or searching for Nerf darts all over her house, you can find Amber writing to encourage families on her blog at Mother of Knights (