Better In The Arms Of Jesus, My Miscarriage

Sometimes, the sacrifice of praise that we offer is nearly unspeakable. It's the quiet raging of a heart that knows unwaveringly that God is good when bad things happen.

It's the silent tears that fall knowing without a doubt that God is capturing each one to hold in a bottle. It's the ability to minister to others walking a hard road when your own pain tempts you to say that you have nothing left to give.

And it's the hope that you have when all that you hoped for is gone. It's keeping your head above the waves of grief that keep coming.

Sometimes, the sacrifice of praise is simply knowing that you don't have to understand.

Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. Hebrews 13:15

I never imagined God would give me 5 children. Never considered the blessing of twins. It was the happiest of news to find that out nearly 9 weeks ago. And it was the saddest of news to find out this week that our new babies are now home safe in the arms of Jesus.

Better in His arms than mine. Better with Jesus than here. He holds my babies, and He holds me. Yet I will praise You, Lord.

This was the portion that God Providentially set before me on the day I found out that they had most likely passed away. Of course verse 20 was especially for me as God whispered to my heart that my hope is in my future with Him in Heaven. He didn't leave me to flounder alone. He gave me His Word to cling to and His Spirit to comfort me:

New Heavens and a New Earth

17 “See, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. 18 But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy. 19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more. 20 “Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child; the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed. 21 They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit. 22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands. 23 They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants with them. 24 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. 25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, and dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the Lord. Isaiah 65:17-25

This song has blessed me over the years and I always prayed that I would never feel the depth of it from personal experience as a grieving mother. But God's ways are not our ways. It especially blesses me now. Held, by Natalie Grant:

 

Will you pray for my little boys who will find out this news in the next day or two-that their hearts will be able to know God's goodness in our grief?

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Amber Lia

A former high school English teacher, Amber is a work-at-home mom of 4 little boys under the age of 10. She is the best-selling author of Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, say Something New. She and her husband Guy own Storehouse Media Group, a faith-friendly and family-friendly TV and Film production company in Los Angeles, CA. When she’s not building sand castles with her boys on the beach, or searching for Nerf darts all over her house, you can find Amber writing to encourage families on her blog at Mother of Knights (www.motherofknights.com).