The water lapped at the edges of the pool as I slathered SPF 50 on my son's skin. He had advanced to the swim class that no longer required that I get in the water with him and he was about to explode with excitement. Seven little "Dolphins" dipped their eager toes in the water. The lifeguard took roll and the 4 year olds entered the shallow end. I settled into my lawn chair in the shade near the edge of the pool, and relaxed.
Then they walked past me.
Two beautiful little girls, identical in every way. Twins. They shimmied out of their cover-ups and swung their long braids out of the way to put on their swim goggles before hurrying to join the class.
I looked around me wondering who let the massive elephant on the pool deck and how he had managed to sit on top of my chest. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing for the entire two minutes it took for the sisters to make their way into the pool.
And then I cried. No one knew that behind my dark glasses and brave smile, I had to keep wiping away my tears.
That's how grieving goes.
That's how you go on with your life after you lose your own twins to miscarriage a month ago.
That's how you release your sorrow and then cheer for your boy who is before you in the here and now, blowing bubbles “to the fishes” and floating on his back like a starfish.
I never know when it will hit me and sometimes it takes much less than a pair of actual twins to cross my path to reduce me to tears. Some days are much easier than others and some are pretty awful. But each day is one that the Lord has made and I can rejoice and be glad in that Truth.
So I do.
Since I began blogging consistently about a year and a half ago, I have never taken even a week off from writing. For the month of June I took a hiatus while I physically healed and met the needs of my family. It wasn't something I planned to do, but felt that I needed to do.
I have sensed God telling me to “Be still and know” that He “is God.” Perhaps that is what you need too......
I wasn't sure how long my voice would be quiet, but I felt the Lord nudging me back. So today, I'm starting off by writing a post for The MOB Society.
Just as those excited yet timid swimmers entered the pool, I too am "dipping my toes in the water."
Will you read it? Click here to read, “How to Grow Spiritually By Doing Nothing" and thank you all so much for praying for me and encouraging my family over these recent months. You all richly bless me!
YOUR TURN! I sense God asking me to “Be still and know that I am God” at this chapter in my life. How about you? What is God communicating to you at this current stage of your life?
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