That first time he grabbed his head in agony, my heart filled with dread. As some of you may remember from this post about our son Quinn, we have been on a three year journey of medical issues since he was two years old.
After numerous doctors’ appointments, homeopathic remedies and oils, specialists, a pediatric neurologist, CAT scans, surgery to have tubes in his ears, and many a day and night writhing in agony from severe migraines, I was at my wit’s end this past Spring.
And then we decided to get a second opinion from one more ENT at Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles.
I sat in the ENT’s office as he told me that though my 4 year old’s sinus issues may indeed trigger his migraines, he didn’t want to pursue any kind of surgery…..…yet. He really couldn't help me. Didn't have any sure answers.
“Spray his nose with saline” the doctor suggested.
With that, I gathered our belongings and my precious boy and walked out of the hospital.
It was a fairly silent ride home as I pondered how in the world I was going to proceed to “fix” my son.
And as I groaned in my spirit to God, I asked Him, “Lord, what do I do now?”
His answer came almost immediately.
It was simple, but profound. I felt a deep sense of peace in my heart as I settled into the idea of being still. I felt that the Lord was asking me to stop pursuing the medical route at this time and to offer Quinn up to Him in totality, and to trust. As my Heavenly Father, He was asking me to relinquish my own child, to Him.
That week, the approval for Quinn’s next CAT scan arrived. I threw it in the trash.
The next month, his first ENT called to confirm his appointment. I cancelled it.
And we went about our lives.
Wouldn’t you know it? It’s now been almost a year since Quinn has had a severe migraine. He has had 3 or 4 small headaches that he is able to sleep off after a nap when in the past he would writhe in agony for hours, vomiting profusely, and be in pain for at least 24 hours.
I know that this is not always the way God works. But the lesson here for me personally is not that God will always heal us, but that in our human efforts we will often come to the end of the line, the bottom of the barrel, and at our wit’s end. Our limitations are nothing for God, however. He is all powerful-the One who holds the world in His hands! He knows the answer to every medical conundrum, and for all of life’s complexities.
I knew that what God wanted from me regarding Quinn was to admit that I did not know what to do, but that my eyes were on Him.
This is exactly what God desired from Jehoshaphat in the Old Testament when his enemies united against him to destroy the Israelites.
Annihilation was imminent. They had no way to protect themselves and defeat was a surety. Except, Jehoshaphat remembered God’s promises to Israel. In the moment of deepest need, he prayed:
10 “But now here are men from Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir, whose territory you would not allow Israel to invade when they came from Egypt; so they turned away from them and did not destroy them. 11 See how they are repaying us by coming to drive us out of the possession you gave us as an inheritance. 12 Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chronicles 20:10-12
That’s just how I felt. Powerless.
Do you feel powerless today? Confused? Bewildered? Trapped? Uncertain?
Follow Jehoshaphat’s strategy. When you don’t know what to do, keep your eyes on your loving Father who knows all things and is all powerful.
Victory came in an unorthodox way for the Israelites that day, despite their physical disadvantages. Take a look at the whole passage and see what I mean.
But in this day and age, we become self-reliant, don’t we?
With so many modern day conveniences at our fingertips we often rely on technology, experts, medicine, or the internet.
And yet God is the author of it all.
When we feel most at a loss to know what next steps to take, and when there seems to be no hope to be found in our circumstances, we are never truly at a loss. God knows what is best for us and He knows the path we should take.
You don’t need to worry about which house to buy. None of us needs to fear that difficult co-worker. We shouldn’t become discouraged by our spouse who doesn’t seem to change. And I don’t need to dissolve into hopelessness when the medical community can’t give me answers for my son.
Whatever worry has you up at night, lay it aside. Adjust your gaze from your problems to your Protector and keep your eyes on Him.
I don’t know what God has in store for my Quinn. But I don’t really need to know the outcome. I know that today, he is well. Today, I’m choosing to abide in Christ and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading, even when it doesn’t make earthly sense.
The prognosis for Quinn’s future is clear, despite what the doctors may say. It’s the same prognosis for all of us who are Christ-followers. When we rest in the goodness of God, we can’t go wrong and He will always give us both the wisdom and the direction we are seeking for any situation.
It’s a prescription you can always count on and never runs out.
YOUR TURN! We can admit that we don't know what to do in a situation and ask God for help. I would love to pray for YOU today. Is there something on your heart and you just don't know what to do about it? Share it here so we can pray for you!